About Gloria

It’s her calling to make every husband on earth feel grateful they’re not married to her.

Gloria Squitiro is the birth mother of Tara and Andrew Squitiro, and the second mother of children she’s stolen from the Universe: Alex, Nic, Pipo and Anna. She takes in stray humans like others do stray animals.


Gloria has an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) personality:  She is an advocate. She is a dreamer who takes concrete steps to realize her goals and make a lasting positive impact. Helping others is her purpose in life, but not through charity work. Her real passion is to get to the heart of issues so people need not be rescued at all.

Gloria has been married to her husband, former mayor of Kansas City Mark “Funk” Funkhouser, for almost 40 years. She became his campaign manager by default, and has the rare distinction of being the only First Lady in America legally banned from the City Hall while her husband was in office.

A graduate of Belmont University with a bachelors in psychology, Gloria has been published in Harper’s Magazine. May Cause Drowsiness and Blurred Vision is her debut memoir, the first in the C’mon Funk series. It is available in print and e-book formats on Amazon. Gloria lives in Washington, D.C. surrounded by some of her flock.

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